★ Year of Our Globe 2026 ★

The Earth
is Definitively,
Beautifully Round.

We are the devoted acolytes of the Sacred Sphere — a satirical order defending the oblate spheroid against the scourge of flat-brained cosmology. Citations: 2,500 years of physics.

The Sacred Sigil

Article I

The Sphere is Real. Hydrostatic equilibrium since 4.5 billion years ago.

Article III

The Moon's eclipse shadow is circular. Every time. From every angle.

Article VI

The conspiracy requires every pilot, physicist, and GPS engineer to lie. Statistically: a lot.

SACRED RELICS

Featured Wares

Adornments and instruments for the spherically-enlightened.

★ Initiation ★

Join the Spherical Fold

Become an Acolyte. Comment on the codex. Track your sacred orders. The door is round. Like the Earth.